Thursday, February 9, 2012

Hard Decisions

The last 6 weeks were some of the most trying and intense times we’ve walked through.  I don’t question having made the decision to help someone in need.  We had prayed about it, and knew it was what we were supposed to do at the time.   I’m quite certain we saved a life during these past 6 weeks.

The problem is in the fact that even though God sometimes gives a huge “do over” opportunity, not everyone responds to it in the right way.  The prodigal son in Luke 15 finally came to himself and returned home and was fully restored.  He chose to stay under the blessing of the “do over” that he was given.

At the suggestion of the newly ordered caseworker, our visitor explored our community on our free trolley system for several days straight, supposedly in search of a job.   However, each day as she returned we noticed more and more of the “old self” returning.  The ground rules we had laid down prior to her arrival were being stretched, blatantly.

So we had to make some hard decisions.   After discussing the issue with the caseworker, and each other and praying earnestly about it, we had to make the decision to send her to stay at the local Mission, a 6 week fix if she doesn’t mess it up.   I dropped her off on Monday evening.

I still agree with the doctor, she needs to be in a monitored facility.  However, when my children start being afraid and uncomfortable in their own home, something must change.     The caseworker is still working with me to try and get some evaluations and hopefully get an opening for an opening elsewhere.

The good news is that she was actually excited to be going to the shelter, so there was no problem with the move.  The bad news is the reason for the excitement was the lifting of the guidelines put in place by us.  (No smoking, alcohol, drugs or men while here and you must attend church when we go….certainly nothing unrealistic.)  

I was really struggling with the decision, but then God reminded me of His Word, in 1 Peter 5:7 it says to “cast all your care upon Him for He cares”.    This is His prodigal, and I can’t let her poor decisions hinder me.

Another thing that really helped me, was at ballet Tuesday.  A very quiet mom who sits and knits while her child is in ballet sat beside me.   She said she’d seen the burden that has been on me since the first of the year and that she’d been praying for me.   Then she said she’d been reading in Leviticus about how an offering, proved by fire was a sweet smell to the Lord, and that He saw that we had made a sacrifice and that we had passed through the fire and that He was pleased.   Oh God how I needed that!     I was thankful for her quiet obedience to pray, and to speak of Word of encouragement to me during one of the hardest decisions of my life.